Marv’s Garage: Ugly as sin and ready for the bin.

The 1980s was a heady time of soaring finances, big hair, cheap cocaine, keyboard guitars, and crap cars. And none were crappier than the kit cars out of Adelaide's "Creative Cars". I imagine the man behind Creative Cars, one Geoff Heard-esquire, would have rocked a pencil mo, ponytail and zip up leather shoes, because he built a mini empire of fibreglass-clad pretendomobiles.

He butchered TA22 Celicas to make his Ferrari 308 copies called "Cerino", while 70s Holden Premiers were turned into the "Glammer": a fake Rolls-Royce that got him sued by RR!

But surely the most infamous automotive sharts to come from Mr Heard were his VW Beetle kits known as Porerras (coupe) and Poragas. Over 50 of the $10k Poraga kits were sold in just 5 months, destroying many cool old VWs to create dumpy, malformed tributes to 935 slant-nose Porsches.

But hey, it was the 80s and drugs were cheap. At least, i hope drugs and their chemical imbalance were the reason behind these abominations. If "Instagram influencers" were cars, they would be Poragas. These things sporadically pop up for sale from time to time, generally in decrepit condition and ready to be scrapped. Which is almost a shame given how many good cars they wrecked building these rolling tributes to shallow 80s excess.